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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Deace’s Daily Top Three – February 24th, 2011

In Humor, Iowa Politics, National Politics on February 24, 2011 at 10:13 am

My three most interesting stories of the past 24 hours.

This is how it’s done...HF 330 would seek to restore the rule of law in Iowa as well as marriage, while also putting the Iowa Supreme Court in its proper and constitutional jurisdiction. Of course, attempts to do so has all the right people annoyed, offended, and lashing out, which is just further proof of how righteous this legislation actually is.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry…This week the police department in Bradenton, Florida arrested a 20 year-old Texan named Joshua Lee Joehlin for engaging in a lewd and lascivious act with a minor. While that unto itself is sad, it wouldn’t be necessary except that the police report lists Joehlin’s religion as “red neck.”

Wisconsin update…Wisconsin state troopers were dispatched Thursday to try to find at least one of the 14 Senate Democrats who have been on the run for eight days to delay a vote on Republican Gov. Scott Walker’s proposal to strip collective bargaining rights from nearly all public employees. Nonetheless, State Democrat leadership says they’ll remain on the run until Walker shows a willingness to compromise. Meanwhile, the state assembly  appeared close to voting on the union rights bill after two days of filibustering the measure with a blizzard of amendments.

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You’re Invited!

In Humor, Iowa Politics on February 22, 2011 at 12:34 am

A special party is being held this weekend in Steve Deace’s honor, and he wants to make sure that everyone knows about it!

Deace’s Daily Top Three – February 17th, 2011

In Humor, Iowa Politics, National Politics on February 16, 2011 at 8:02 pm

The most interesting three stories of the last 24 hours.

Well, that settles it…The debate over government healthcare is finally over. All this time we’ve been waiting for someone with real wisdom and moral authority to settle this divisive debate, and finally the most powerful voice in the culture has spoken. Teen sensation of the moment Justin Bieber tells Rolling Stone he’s going to remain a Canadian and never become an American citizen because we’re “evil” since we don’t have a single (government) payer healthcare scheme like his homeland has. Well, if he really believed that why didn’t he just say so and get the argument over with already? Why read the Constitution or listen to the American people when we have Bieber to guide us? It should be noted that in another interview with Conan O’Brien he also said he was pro-life.

Ominous…For the past few years a preemptive strike by Israel against Iran for its quest for nuclear power has been speculated upon, but the news that the Iranians are planning to deploy their warships near Israel for a year may be the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back if it indeed materializes. Israel is calling this proposed move “a serious provocation.”

Priorities people…I know what you’re thinking, this is the key issue at the moment. Of course, I’m referring to the need to stop Major League Baseball players and managers from having a dip during the game. What, you say, we have far more pressing matters to attend to given the decline of our nation? You must not be two Democrat U.S. Senators who think otherwise.

Deace’s Daily Top Three – February 16th, 2011

In Humor, Iowa Politics, National Politics on February 15, 2011 at 11:49 pm

The top three stories that have captured my attention the past 24 hours:

Equal Time…Since we suggested the coverage the Democrat-leaning Washington Post gave to CPAC earlier this week, it’s only fair to give similar recognition to a Republican mouthpiece when it does an equally decent job covering the same story. Craig Robinson at The Iowa Republican did some really solid analysis of what’s happened to CPAC and what happened to those who were there that is definitely worth a read.

Freudian slip?…In discussing his latest crappy budget at a press conference on Tuesday, President Barack Obama accidentally let slip the “s-word” when he meant to say “share.” The subconscious is a terrible thing to waste.

Only in Iowa…There may not be a state in the union that loves aging incumbents more than Iowa does. Case in point, The Des Moines Register reports that Governor-for-Life Terry Branstad has been around so long he’s eligible to collect both a six-figure salary as the state’s chief executive as well as his pension for his previous decades of public office at the same time.

What Time Is It?

In Humor on February 15, 2011 at 11:32 pm

By the time I get to Arizona or you read this, whichever comes first, rapper Flavor Flav could end up being an Iowa high school graduate if he has his way.

But before receiving his diploma Flavor Flav, otherwise known as William Drayton, must successfully fight the power in Clinton where he recently opened a fried chicken restaurant. It will be harder than you think for the hip hop star since apparently the educrats there have determined they can’t truss it since Drayton is a 10th grade dropout.

Drayton is reportedly hoping to film a reality television show in the otherwise quiet eastern Iowa hamlet of less 27,000 people, but the townspeople there don’t believe the hype that this is the kind of exposure they want so they’re trying to shut ‘em down.

However, before you scoff at this idea consider this: Flav could be the ideal person to receive a high school diploma in Iowa given the fact that nearly every urban high school in the state is below federal achievement requirements in key subjects, and the tragically pitiful academic performance of Iowa’s black student population.

In an era where challenging kids, particularly minority ones, to reach their God-given potential or face the consequences is considered harsh, Draconian, and intolerant, Flav represents exactly what government schools are producing in most urban districts in America today—a lost soul ill-equipped to contribute to society in any meaningful way and comes across as illiterate at first blush, only to solidly confirm it once he starts speaking. Statistics prove that if it were not for rap music it’s likely a black, 10th-grade dropout like Drayton would eventually become a ward of the state—either through welfare or the prison system.

Its stories like that which forms the central thesis to Waiting for Superman, one of the 10 best movies I saw in 2010.

This must-see film chronicles in vivid detail the dysfunction factories that urban school districts in America have become. This generation of ineffectiveness has created a real human toll beyond the jaw-dropping dropout and academic failure statistics. That’s because behind each of those numbers lies a real human being, created in the image of God and put on this earth for a purpose.

Beyond the tragedy of seeming human life needlessly wasted in a society as prosperous as ours, their unrealized expectations have eroded the quality of our work force, while simultaneously placing further burden on those already picking up their slack to now pick up the tab for their access to the welfare state as well. Any nation, community, organization, or movement is only as good as its human resources, so the loss of such capital is an incalculable opportunity cost.

On top of that, now imagine the offspring these statistics will sire and the ruined relationships that come from these dalliances and unplanned pregnancies and you can start to see how this could become a generational cycle of dysfunction threatening both the moral fabric of a nation as well as its economic stability.

Which sort of sounds like exactly where we’re at as a nation now, does it not? When you look at it from this reality perspective, and not from the imaginary lens of one of Flavor Flav’s contrived “reality” TV shows, this ceases to be a laughing matter.

Chances are government education is a joke in your town, and the joke is on us.

WHO Content

In Humor, Iowa Politics, National Politics on February 14, 2011 at 1:05 am

For the time being the kindly powers-that-be at WHO have decided to leave my old podcasts and blogs up on their website.

The direct link to my old blogs is here.

The direct link to my old podcasts is here.

Deace’s Daily Top Three – February 14th, 2011

In Humor, National Politics on February 14, 2011 at 1:02 am

Top three stories that have caught my eye in the last 24 hours:

CPAC Winners & Losers…The annual Conservative Political Action Conference is losing its luster thanks to so many compromised leaders and its cozying up to the sodomy lobby, but it still is an event of some influence for the time being. To get a more objective summary of what happened this year you probably need to go to the enemy media camp, so I would recommend this report from The Washington Post.

Dallas Worst Super Bowl Site Ever…So says one of the few, the proud — sports writers who have persevered long enough to have covered all 45 of them like Jerry Green of The Detroit News.

Egalitarianism comes to Iowa State Wrestling TournamentI’m a father of two daughters who hopes they have the opportunity to maximize their God-given potential, but if they came to me wanting to wrestle I’d look at them the same way I’d look at my son if he came to me wanting to become a seamstress. How would you like to be the boy pinned by one of these girls? Something tells me we’ll see that kid down at the statehouse lobbying for more anti-bullying legislation one day.


Hope I Die Before I Get Old

In Humor on February 14, 2011 at 12:43 am

Few things in life make me feel older than The Grammies.

That’s because every year they are a constant reminder of how cool I no longer am – or maybe never actually was – and I’m conflicted about that.

On the one hand getting older can also mean growing up, and unless I want to turn out like Matthew McConaughey’s regrettable character in Dazed and Confused that’s not necessarily a bad thing. For few things in pop culture are more detestable or more desperate than the aging hipster. On the other hand, getting old also means inheriting from my parents and elders all their uncool clichés that drove me crazy in my youth.

This may be hard for some of you who are used to listening to and reading my opinions from a certain worldview to believe, but growing up I was one of the “cool kids” when it came to pop music. I had a monumental CD collection. I knew the words to all of the cool hit songs, even those gangsta rap records that couldn’t get mainstream radio air play because of the offensive lyrics (you know, back when we had standards and MTV still played videos—like 1991).

I could lip sync Garth Brooks one moment and N.W.A. the next. Like every other college-aged kid in the early 1990s, I was also a connoisseur of what eventually became known as grunge as well. I’m pretty sure my freshman orientation packet included my class schedule, dorm assignment, and a copy of Pearl Jam’s Ten and Nirvana’s Nevermind complete with commemorative flannel shirt.

I could effortlessly go from classic rock to alternative and country to hip hop all in one CD shuffle (this was the Stone Age before IPods, kids). Heck, I could make a pretty mean mix tape back in the day, too. Just ask my wife. I had that puppy down to a science. I even knew right where to strategically place The Cranberries’ Linger in the rotation for maximum emotional impact.

Hey, laugh all you want, but it worked on her and 15 years later we’re living happily ever after married with three kids in the suburbs.

So what changed? How did I go from The Grammies being must-see-TV each February in order to validate my musical snobbery to not having watched it in I don’t know how long?

Two things—and neither is necessarily my fault.

See, a funny thing happened on my way to being perpetually cool. I sort of, well, I guess you could say I ran into God. And it turned out He had this totally different plan for my life that didn’t include self-loathing or self-indulgent music anymore. He strangely wanted me to have a life of hope and redemption and other stuff totally different from how I was rolling at the time.

Weird, huh?

That’s not to say if you enjoy contemporary or pop music in general you’re on the Highway to Hell, although likely some of the people who produce it are. I’m simply saying that what this music represented in my life was a connection to a problematic past that I need to be delivered from, and it was going to be hard for me to live in the Promised Land while I was still remembering life in the desert.

That’s also not to say that I staged some massive CD burning in my backyard in the name of Jesus. Trust me, the folks who typically do creepy stuff like that freak me out as well, especially since they almost always are married to a chick with Technicolor hair as well as eye liner to spare and talk with a drawl that makes Haley Barbour sound like The King’s Speech.

Instead, one Saturday morning several years ago a great peace came over me, assuring me it was time to move on and leave that hopelessness found in too many of my CD cases behind once and for all. So I calmly removed that music from my repertoire and like any good capitalist I made some cash selling it back to the used CD store down the street, and I managed to do all of this without consulting Benny Hinn.

I can still remember my wife coming down the stairs that morning stunned at what I was doing, because frankly when we met I cared more about my music collection than the future mother of my children, so she knew what this meant. Nevertheless, I did the deed and I haven’t looked back.

So with my Creator encouraging me to be more creative in what I was listening to, He also allowed me to live long enough to see myself cease being cool. I will turn 38 years old in July, and while some of you reading this would kill to be that age again in the world of The Grammies it makes me close to null and void as a consumer. This means regardless of my spiritual awakening at the very least I still would have become an uncool pagan at this age anyway.

This is why The Who sang “I hope I die before I get old.”

But before I lament that youth is wasted on the young, I am reminded every time I recall what I thought mattered most at that age that I wouldn’t go back across the other side of the Jordan for all the platinum records in the world.

Let alone all The Grammies.

Desolation

In Humor on January 25, 2011 at 4:58 am

Two straight days and night at the office during the snowstorm of 12/09 is 2 much

Desolation II

In Humor on December 9, 2009 at 2:37 am

Day Two, Snowed in, December snowstorm in Iowa 2009, with former cohost Jon Miller